In Denial

I pretty sure I'm going to be pregnant forever. Will there ever be a baby coming out, or do people just say that? Sure I took the pregnancy test. It was positive. I have had multiple ultrasounds and saw our little babe moving around. My midwife has shown me how fast her little heart is beating every week. I FEEL her kicking my ribs, hitting my bladder, AND making my stomach jiggle so it looks like an alien is going to burst out at any minute... yet it doesn't seem real yet. I can't believe Joel and I will have OUR OWN baby to take care of and love. Just ours! I get so overwhelmed thinking about all the changes that are going to happen.

I already love this little baby girl so much, but I can't comprehend how it will be once she is really here. I am dying to know that feeling when she is put on my chest for the first time and to have my love for her explode. I can't wait for that moment when Joel holds her for the first time and his face just melts of pure love.

I've been asked a lot if I am nervous. Yes. I'm nervous for a few things.

1) When the labor will actually start? Will it be tonight? Next Friday?? My due date is the 24th. Will she be early? Late? Who knows??

2) The pain. All you women that have had babies know and have experienced it. I've been trying to think of past instances where I've been in the most pain and I can't think of anything. I guess I'm nervous because I haven't felt that pain before. The job I am giving Joel is to help me with my breathing, and to keep on reminding me of the prize we will get in the end ;)

3) How long will I be in labor? Will it be long or short? Every woman and every birth is so different!

4) The after party healing process. I'm nervous about taking care of a new lil one, working the whole breastfeeding thing out (which I am super determined to succeed in), all while needing to take care of myself and heal too.

I know everything will work out as it should. She'll come when she comes and it will be fine! I'm just thinking a lot... surprisingly I'm not nervous about giving birth in a foreign country ;) I have my husband supporting me and we know how to get to the hospital. Pretty important, right? Joel and I have visited the hospital and I felt good about the nurses and midwives there, so it hasn't been a worry of mine.
Anyways, those are some of my thoughts about the upcoming labor :)