When Emma was a baby, I just wanted her close to me. It just felt oh so natural, until I tried to sleep with her by my side. We were both so uncomfortable and didn't sleep well at all. She slept better in her own bed, and when she got older I couldn't even be in the same room as her while she was trying to fall asleep. If she saw me she just wanted to play! Apart of me loved that she could fall asleep so easily on her own, but the other part ached for the cuddles I so desperately wanted from her. To this day Emma is still not a cuddly person, and if she gives you a hug or a kiss you should take it as a high compliment!
Now with little William. That boy wants to be glued to me all day every day. I really don't mind, and I have really grown to love getting used to him wanting me and wanting to sleep on me all the time. It's not super realistic since I have Emma to take care of as well, and I'm trying so hard to balance the two of them. I am trying to get into the habit of "wearing" William a bit more, so I can fill his needs of needing to be with me while I take care of Emma. I guess it helps that Emma isn't a cuddly person and hasn't been jealous at all of little William, so I can cuddle with him a little bit more!
William loves to sleep on me during nap time, and next to me at night. It's hard for me to fall asleep with him right next to me, so I put him to sleep in his crib next to my bed and when he wakes up to eat next, he sleepishly eats and stays asleep as I lay him next to me. I love that he stays asleep and I can go back to sleep so much faster. Right now I have to sit up at night to nurse and burp him, because this boy needs to be burped a lot! If I don't get out all the burps he'll wake up after a few minutes and usually spits up everywhere, which is not fun cleaning in the middle of the night. I really look forward to the day when he won't need to be burped anymore, or as much.
When he was smaller I tried laying him down in his own bed and swaddling him, but he always woke up and it took foreverrrr to get him back to sleep. I find it amazing how natural it is to sleep with him, I didn't think I'd ever be able to cosleep with any of my kids after my experience with Emma. We both sleep just fine, and I sleep even better knowing how happy and content he is sleeping next to me.
I know he might grow out of wanting to sleep next to me, and maybe this is just a newborn phase. I am trying to soak in every moment I can and hold him, since I've now realized how fast he'll grow up. I mean, how did Emma get to be almost 2 already?! I asked Joel the other day if it was legal for us to have a 2 year old, we don't feel old enough haha!
It has been fun and interesting for me to have two completely opposite kids so far. It has been tough but also wonderful getting to know William and figuring out what works best for him, what he loves, and also what comforts him. I love the feeling as he falls asleep on my chest knowing he feels 100% safe and content with me, and I am always near tears because I feel so blessed.
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