Bumpdate: Week 21!

I really felt like blogging, so I thought why not do the question thing again? :)

How far along?  Officially 21 weeks (ish)

Size of the baby?  Somewhere between a banana and a carrot? Crazy how fast she is growing! I swear she use to be an avocado the other day...

Maternity clothes?  Oh yes, especially pants. Still trying to fit into my old clothes for as long as I can, since I am already tired of my maternity clothes... not a good thing :/

Sleep? Pretty good right now! I am soaking up every moment because I have a feeling it is just going to get more uncomfortable and harder.

Stretch marks? none that I have found yet. I have been oiling up my bod for a while now (all thanks to Sherry Holman for introducing it... when I was in high school haha!)

Best moment of the week? Having another ultrasound since at the last one she was being kinda stubborn and her head was stuck under my hip bone somehow... thus resulting in the poor nurses getting frustrated haha. It was quite funny now that I look back on it, but I was able to have another appointment!! Which was nice :) We also got to double check she was still a girl.. which was super comforting! That was the first thing the nurse said when she started the ultrasound, "Yep! Still a girl!" Also the first thing we saw when the ultrasound started.. she was drinking and we could see her little mouth moving and sucking!! Geez it was so cool.

Movement? Yes! Every time I lay down! I've noticed the movements are getting so much stronger everyday! So crazy!! I am so tempted all the time to just lay down and feel her moving... it's kind of addicting in a way haha. I'm starting to feel her more when I'm sitting up too which is fun. Joel hasn't had very good luck feeling her, just a few times. Last night he randomly put his head on my stomach and she kicked him hard!! We loved that haha.

Food cravings/aversions? More aversions still which I find waaay annoying. It's weird... you usually hear the stereotypical pregnant women craving ice cream and pickles, but not the aversion side. I had a hard time with some foods before I got pregnant (with my gagging reflex) and now that has magnified. So frustrating. Especially breakfast foods, which is also the most annoying part I think. All the food I loved to eat for breakfast is such a chore, and I usually get sick halfway anyways and can't finish it. Which stinks because breakfast is so important to me right now. If I don't eat breakfast, I feel like I am dying of starvation! Such a tough situation I'm in ;)

Gender? girl :) woohoo!! I tease Joel all the time that he is already turning into my dad, being outnumbered by me and Cheeto already ;)

Belly button in or out? Still in. Do most belly buttons pop out? I have no idea if mine will, it seems to be staying the same pretty much. I think it is so cute when the belly bottom pops out, but maybe that's just me haha.

Labor signs? Not that I know of. I have started getting some kind of pain in my stomach about once a day, but I'm not sure what that is.

What I am looking forward to? Shopping. A lot. Also having my mom coming over to Sweden! I felt kind of weird/guilty asking my parents to come over, knowing the flew my WHOLE family over in 2012 for our wedding, and now this past summer my sister got married. Not to mention my other sister started college.... But yes. My mom is coming over and I am soooo happy! I really get giddy at night trying to sleep thinking about her being here.The hard part has been figuring out a day for her to come. We were thinking around the first week in March? I guess what has made it hard is up until my last appointment my due date was February 17th, and now it was moved back a week. Boo. So I'm not sure what to think now, because I'd want my mom to spend as much time with the baby, ya know? And us of course :) All I can say is I had better NOT go two weeks over. We'll see I guess!

Emotions? Ehhhmm... Kinda up and down. I still cry over a lot of stuff... which I didn't expect happening haha. It's things like Joel just telling me how much he loves me. Oh goodness I just bawl my eyes out. I almost cry just thinking about him. I guess these past few days have been hard on me somehow. Other than all the crying, I feel pretty awesome :)

PS- I think we have decided on a name! It isn't 100% yet, but it what we both agree on and love :) Before we even knew we were having a girl, Joel said from day 1 that he loves the name Emma. We both made up "rules" that A) the name had to be international (for obvious reasons haha) and be pronounced similarly in Swedish and English. (did I mention that those names are basically already taken by all of Joel's family members?? Yep haha) also B) we wanted it to be a name you can't misspell. I know it may be boring to some, but that is what we both like!
I also wanted her to have a middle name, and I found out my dear grandmother's middle name is Elaine. Totally found that out looking at my family tree! So we have decided on the name Emma Elaine Herrey for now, but it can always change... since we still have four months left ;)

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Something else has been on my mind a lot... women and infertility. I almost feel guilty somehow knowing how easy it was for me to get pregnant (sorry if that was TMI haha). I had my birth control removed in April and my body started telling me a month after that I was pregnant. Which is kind of funny because the reason I had it removed so "early" was because I heard it could take 3 months to a YEAR to get pregnant after coming off of bc. I was in shock for a little while thinking, "are these symptoms too early? what is going on??" Thus resulting in me turning to my mother-in-"love", because if I was pregnant A) it would probably freak my mom out and give her a heart attack and B) I wanted to surprise my family more than anything if I was pregnant. I guess I feel guilty knowing how hard it is for other women. I mean, I feel like God literally handed me a healthy baby (so far) and a healthy pregnancy (so far)... to the point where it almost seems too good to be true.

I think it started to hit me after I read THIS blog. (I highly recommend reading it... she is of my favorite bloggers, who happened to have this woman as a guest blogger on her blog.. if that makes any sense haha) I knew how hard it must be on other women watching other women getting pregnant when they want it so badly, but I honestly had no idea. Reading this woman's thoughts pierced my heart. For me, once I had made up my mind that I wanted a baby I wanted it NOW. There was no going back, and it was time. Just that feeling of wanting a baby became the main thoughts of my mind.. all I could think about really.

Well, I have been thinking of how to end this post and I really have no idea haha. I guess I felt like I wanted to post my thoughts about infertility and my heartache for all those women out there. My heart literally aches for those women, knowing  how hard it must be on them wanting the only thing they can think about. Every time I post something about being pregnant or the baby, I almost hesitate to post it and my heart does a little squeeze knowing there could be a woman out there struggling... and reading my blog could be the last thing they needed to read that day (or something like that). I suppose I can end by saying how much I love you and hurt with you (even though I have no idea what your are going through), and that I know God loves you.. From my religous point of view, I found THIS TALK about infertility and personal growth.