Joel & Mollie

Joel's story of how we got engaged, with my insight in between ;)

As weeks passed, my love for Mollie grew stronger and stronger and I just knew I wanted to marry her. It quickly and naturally became a very natural topic of conversation during our skype-talks at night. It just felt good all way through. Instead of praying to our Father in heaven that he would tell me if I was doing the right thing - I simply told Him what I felt and what I was going to do and that if it be wrong that He'd better stop me.

There was just one concern - How to actually do it.

I would have to propose to her in a place I hardly knew and really couldn't come up with any fancy plan of how to do it. Then Alyssa Davidson came an answer to my prayers and told me she could help me if needed any ideas. A few weeks prior to my arrival I called her and she listened to what ideas I had, but they were mainly just those of surprising her. Since I knew that she knew that it was going to happen, I figured that the only way I would really make it special would be if it all came as a surprise to her. But how to accomplish that I have no idea(!) Alyssa and I talked and she gave my some different suggestions, but the one I really felt good for was going to the Lights at Temple Square. It would be a lot of lights, near to the temple and that itself would be romantic! At least in my mind... As time went by, the idea grew into it being a double date with Nick and Heather Carter - another of Mollies best friends.

When Mollie and I first started talking about marriage the topic of ring came up. I figured that the best way to do it would be for her to select her own ring, in that way she would be happy with it. The problem was that I wouldn't be able to fully pay for it before the day of the date to Temple Square. So I contacted the best help I could ever get - her mom. One night I was skyping her and letting her in on all the details and asked her to help me figure out a way to get the ring. As we were talking she had the jeweler on the phone and helped us figure out how to do the payment and all the details around that. So the way it would work would be for me to buy the ring with a big fake diamond in it, and come in a few days later and buy the real diamond and have it put in the ring for free. Said and done and Gaylene, her mom, picked up the ring for me a few days before I got there. (I had no idea Joel and my mom had planned all this out. My mom calls me and wanted to "help" me move out of my apartment. Little did I know she was picking the ring up at the same time!!! Tricky people.)

Coming to Utah I was as nervous as could be! I had lost my apatite and my legs felt like spaghetti as I finally embraced her at the airport. I don't think me being awake for 30 hours helped the surreal feeling of actually being near her. Her family was also there to greet me and it all felt so natural and relaxed in a sense. They were just lovely!

As I was unpacking my stuff the next day I put all my Christmas gifts under the tree and Mollie was there with me. I held up a small little wrapped box and teasingly told her that this was for her. I had not expected the results of that but that simple little extra gift I bought acted as the perfect decoy for me! Her sister AJ told me later that Mollie thought it was the ring itself and that I would propose to her on Christmas Day. I later heard that Mollie thought it would be a great time to do it, you know, in an intimate and personal way with just her family around. Ha, I was still on the surprising-her-track! (He did a really good job at this... and I completely fell for it. As I was thinking about it later, why on earth would he show me the box with the ring in it, if we was going to surprise me?? I was SO set on him proposing to me on Christmas, I didn't even consider any other options.)

Another reason why I knew that Mollie wasn't expecting anything to happen was because she kept inviting all these other friends and couples to come with us. I was getting more and more nervous knowing that it would be harder and harder the more people that joined us. We ended up being 4 couple going!

I kept thinking a lot of how I was going to propose and I had some kind of idea how to do it, but still just felt like the only thing I could do was to improvise and just go with whatever happened (which of course made me even more scared and nervous!) After a few amazing days of shopping, cuddling and being together it was time. The day had come.

We were heading into town a bit early to run some errands before being picked up by Heather and Nick to go to Salt Lake. While Mollie was in the shower I hurried to find Heather's number in her phone and called her just to confirm the plans and make sure everything was going alright. She didn't pick up so I had to leave a desperate message. To my surprise she got it and managed to call back before Mollie got out of the bathroom. She heard her sisters answer the phone and that it was Heather that wanted to talk to me. She got really questionable about that but totally forgot about it withing a few minutes. (I was completely CLUELESS. I have no idea why I didn't put all the hints together. Like, "Why on earth was Heather calling my home phone? Why did she want to talk to Joel and not me?".... )

As we prepared to leave the house, Mollie was getting dressed and I was in my room. I glanced at the pretty ring and got even more nervous. I lost my appetite around lunchtime already. I decided to take a photo of the ring and stood close to the window to get a better light to it. Having my back towards the door with the ring in its open box in one hand (and it was a big box!) and with the camera in the other hand with the newly taken picture big displayed on it, Mollie knocks on the door. I panicked! She walks in and started asking for suggestions on what clothes she would wear. Not looking at her I just hastily told her I would be out in a minute, but she didn't leave. What was I going to do?! I slowly turned around and managed to sneak the camera into my pocket still not knowing what I should do with the box. It wouldn't fit in my pocket and it would be way visible if I tried put it or drop it somewhere. As she was looking down and adjusting her boots, I somehow managed to shove it inside my shirt behind my back praying that it would not fall down or that she would hug me! Neither happened and she walked out after a minute of conversation. I must have been super awkward. (He was super awkward. I thought he was acting incredibly weird so I shrugged to myself and thought, "I hope he gets out of this mood soon.")

As we were in town it was in one of my buttoned coat pockets. It was so bulky that I thought that she would feel it every time she hugged me or walked close to me as we held hands. I did my best to keep her on the other side of me. I bought her a nice pair of earrings that would fit the ring perfectly, and yet little did she know! (Again. I was clueless.) At the store she wanted to hug me and also tried to stick both of her hands down my coat pockets. Red alert! I panicked once again and did some weird twisting motion with my body so that she would not succeed. Luckily, oh yes luckily enough the pockets had buttons to close them(!) THAT was a close call! (Sooooo many close calls?! How did I not find out?)

We met up with the other couples in Salt Lake City and went to good restaurant and had a good time. It was really cold outside, yet very dry and no snow at all. It was a clear and dark sky full of stars.

I heard that it might be a lot of people there watching the lights but I was shocked and worried when I saw that there were a lot more people there than I expected. I knew we only had about half an hour to do it because we were heading to see a movie later. Walking around I got super nervous. There was just so many people around, where could I find a private spot here? How could this ever work out fine? I even seriously considered pulling it off and just doing it the next day since we were going there again with Mollies family. But I was reminded by my own thoughts that I already told a lot of people I would do it tonight. (At this point I had noticed he was acting strange. But I still shrugged it off.)

Heather lead us through the big crowd of people to - for me - an unknown destination. She kept giving me glances, waiting for my sign. She looked at me ones but I purposely didn't give her the sign. What was I going to do?? She looked over a few seconds later - still without Mollie noticing anything. Then I realized that Heather was leading us away from the big mass of people, a little to the side where it was less crowded. I gave her the sign, a simple small nod, and all of a sudden she had to "go to the bathroom" (she acted so well!) and the rest of the group knew that it was the sign for them to also disappear. They did it so well that I could hardly believe it! Except for one couple kind of awkwardly hanging back for a second then turning and leaving with the rest of the group. My heard started to race. I clearly thought that Mollie was sensing something coming up. "Why did they all leave for the bathroom?", she asked. I didn't know how to act. "I... don't know", I replied. To get Mollie on other thoughts I turned in the direction that we were heading before they left for the restrooms and started walking holding her hand. (He knows me too well. He already knows how to distract me.... oh dear.)

All of a sudden she became very cuddly and sensitive and told he things such as "I'm so glad to be here with you, I really am!" and then she hugged me. I thought that Mollie, being the kind and lovable person that she is, was on to me but that she only played along just so that I wouldn't feel bad for her finding out what I was up to. But we walked on and came to a big square pond up by the pedestal where everyone usually take their wedding photos. Holding hands we stood and watched the big pond for a while when she brought up the idea of tossing in a penny and making a wish. I clasped the small coin, stared at my closed hand and slowly thought to myself "This.better.work!" and I tossed it in.

All of a sudden all the people who were there at the pond just left. It was almost unrealistic! Thinking back on it, Mollie said she almost thought it was staged, that's how good timing it was. We hug for a while before she suggests taking some pictures. As she says this she turns towards the temple, having her back towards me, and I thought to myself: Here is my chance! I will not get another shot like this again! And I took it.

"Well, before that we do that, there is one thing...", I replied as I knelt down on one knee behind her back. She turns around and there I was, holding the little box in my hand. I hadn't planned out exactly what to say but I was sure planning to have a whole big speech down there why I love her and why I want her to be my wife. But I was so nervous I was almost frightened! I mean, I have dated before, I have had other relationships, I know the drill, but never before had I proposed! And having waited all my life to do this didn't slow down my racing heart. At all! And all of a sudden I wondered if I had opened the box the right side up, because how would that be holding the ring upside down? So I quickly had so shove a finger in there to make sure, and luckily enough I didn't screw up. In shock and not really believing her eyes she smiled saying "Whaaaat!?" while looking down at me.

"Will you marry me?", were the only things I manged to say. Still in happy shock and with her mouth wide open she slowly bent down to hug me as she replied "Yes!" I stood up and embraced her still having the box in between us. Not knowing if to just look at it or to pick it up and put it on her finger, I awkwardly changed my mind like 3 times before finally taking it and putting it on her pretty and cold finger.

I could tell she was still in shock. We hugged tightly and sporadically she would become so thrilled that she hugged my for as hard as she could while half giggling half screaming, making small quick jumps at the same time. I started crying. And overwhelming feeling of joy and peace swept over me. I didn't feel the cold anymore, I was so happy I cant even describe it.

The rest of the group were watching us from a distance and came running after a while to congratulate us. We took some pictures and walked over to the movies. All the way over there Mollie couldn't stop saying the phrase: "You sly dog...". I let her in on all the details of the planning and she just couldn't stop saying that specific phrase.

We sat in the movies for about an hour, constantly hugging each other and not being able to focus on the movie at all. I almost felt like sitting there watching it was kind of ruining the romantic moment we just had. I suggested we got out of there and Mollie agreed. We sat on a bench outside and that was when it really hit Mollie what had just happened - We were going to get married. She started sobbing on my shoulder as I embraced her. We were both struck with an overwhelming joy and I could hardy believe that I had just asked the girl of my dreams to marry me. We took some pictures and then she called around and sent out texts to all her closest friends. Speaking to her mom she told me something that would stick with me for a long time after our conversation. She said that she didn't quite know how to say it but that she had been thinking of it all day long. She told me that she really wanted me to know that I was so loved and that everything felt so good with me there and how she knew that I would always take care of her daughter.

After Heather and Nick drove us to our car later that night, we got in and just screamed and shouted! We were getting married!!! and then giggled all the way home and late into the night.

So that is Joel's story of how we got engaged! Quite the romantic I have!!! :)

Welllll I'm getting pretty good at posting once on month! Hopefully I can get up to one blog post a week. We shall see :)
Naturally, a lot has happened the past lil bit. I still haven't posted my engagement story... haha I will don't worry ;)
I will give ya the deets on what has happened, just in this past week:

On Friday the 20th of January, I found out I could not enter Sweden once I had started the process of applying for my residence permit. And that permit takes 7-9 months.
I was planning on visiting Joel and actually MEETING his family sometime in April-ish, around spring break. But I had no idea I couldn't even enter the country. We were all heart broken. Joel and I were completely devastated. I told Joel we had a few options:
1) Get married in June like we had planned, go on our honeymoon. Then he would fly back to Sweden and I would come whenever my application could come (which a good guesstimate would be around... August-September)
2) Get married in August, kinda similar to plan 1. But this way the chance of me receiving my application would be higher, and we could see each other sooner after we were married. And I would fly over whenever it would come.
3) Get married in October... and my application would for sure be here and we could actually have a set date and plans.

You could say Friday the 13th came a week late for us ;)
My mom and I saw little or no hope of us getting married in June anymore. I felt as though everything had flown out the door and smashed into a billion little pieces.... we were back to square one. Again.
Yet Joel surprised me so much. He still felt incredibly good about getting married in June! I tried telling him the facts, and that's just how it was.

Our plan was to have his family fly over a week or two-ish early. Get married. Go on honeymoon. Fly me, Joel, and my family BACK over to Sweden and have a 2nd reception there. And not to mention plane tickets were averaging around $9,000 JUST for my family to fly over. You could say we were kinda stressed trying to wrap all of our brains around it!
I went to my first bridal fair on Saturday, and oh dear was it overwhelming! At the time I was still in the phase of not knowing when I was going to get married... the only word I could think of that whole experience is interesting. I just wish my future mother-in-"love" could have been there with my mom and I, but what can ya do with the whole long distance relationship-thing? People ask me all the time- how I can marry Joel without "officially" meeting his family? Does skype count? ;) It's crazy... but my relationship with Joel is so right. And I already love his family so much, I'm not worried about it at all. :) :)

This past Wednesday.... after all that had happened.... the real miracle happened. Joel's father was talking with his brother, and he mentioned to call the Swedish Immigration office. Well, they did! And they found out a way I can apply online instead of handing in a hard copy and having to mail it all over the place! And the online process takes *drum roll please*................ 3 months!!!!! Joel called me with all this information RIGHT was I was about to call the Swedish Embassy here in SLC (the one that would take 7-9 months...) and schedule an appointment to turn in my application. I mean, I pushed send and Joel was on the other line! So lucky. We are so incredibly blessed. I couldn't believe it, and still can't. I mean, in the beginning I was having a hard time realizing I couldn't see him until April- that I could barely handle. Then everything went kinda crazy... Now I feel so much better about this decision.
We are still planning on getting married in June, but a little differently. Reality hit us about the money situation- about doing 2 receptions and flying everyone everywhere. Right now I am to the point of wanting my whole family being able to travel to Sweden. I would rather get married there, only have one reception, and have my family come over than risk it. I mean, when will this opportunity happen again... where my whole family has time to come over?
If that doesn't work out, we would get married here I believe... and hopefully his family could come over. Either way we're still getting married in June and it will all work out for the best :)

I've heard of people not filling out their application the right way, and being banned from the country for a year. I believe I can wait an extra month to get married and do everything right, rather than getting married and not seeing each other for a whole year. THAT I could not handle.

I will have my application filled out by tomorrow, and I will be interviewed (hopefully within the next few weeks) to make sure this is legit. If you've seen The Proposal, you know what I mean ;) Hopefully I can pass....

There ya go! That has been my life this past little bit. It is getting crazier everyday, and I am still so thankful for everything. I know everyone says this, but I truly have thee best fiance in the world. He treats me incredibly well, I am the happiest I've ever been :)
This is my ultimate favorite song! It is in Swedish of course, but it describes my relationship with Joel to a T. Joel's dad is singing with the guitar, and is with his two brothers. Enjoy :) :)

Herrey's - Utan Någon Att Älska :)
LYRICS:

If I find the answers

to what’s going on

somewhere along the road.

When I have found that valley

where the sun goes down,

Then I will show it to you

before the evening.

If I looked beyond the sky,

beyond the glaze of the stars

I will show you the way there.

For there is no heaven worth having

without someone to love.

If I’m blinded by the light

from a shimmering sea
and the scents calm my senses.
When I breath the freedom
that the silence gave,
I want you here
by my side.
When I’ve found that place
where time stands still,
then I’ll show you the way.

For there is no heaven worth having

without someone to love.

So much more, oh, so much more.

So much more of a live,

So much more.

If I win in life,
if I succeed sometime,
I shall take you along the way.

But I took you for granted
and the greif was hard,
can you forget then
and forgive?

If I find a heaven in our reality,

I will show you the way there.

For there is no heaven worth having

without someone to love.