Empty.

My brain feels empty. I don't feel like I have anything important to blog about, but whatevs. Joel told me to start with one sentence, and that usually works to get it goin. We will see :)

Joel and I have almost been married 5 months! Well... 4 months and a halfish. And my best bud has been married almost a year!!!!! I remember crying so much because I didn't want to lose my best friend. Then I realized that was a dumb thought and that I would never lose her as a best friend. And now I am the one who has moved away and made it harder to keep in contact. We still skype once a week, so it is all good :)

I have had a hard time adjusting to things being more expensive here. Ok, not really.. but kinda. I am almost out of shampoo, conditioner, and hairspray. A shopping trip was a must. Joel told me something wise (i think) today, "Go for it! Treat yourself ;) No but the way I reason is that I I need something, then let it cost what it costs and why complain?" I really didn't want to buy shampoo and stuff, because of how much it was. I was expecting him to say, "Eh, maybe that is a little expensive so try to find something else if you can." But then I realized what he said to me was absolutely perfect. I don't know why I have been thinking about that so much today, and why it meant so much to me. You see in the States you can find pretty much anything for a cheaper price I feel like. You can always resort to WalMart. I am still getting adjusted to Sweden and everything is so dern expensive. But Joel's point made me realize that I have to deal with it, and it is ok. Hehe maybe I should go buy a bunch of expensive stuff (somethings I realllly want. like a black blazer. but then again i can live without that..)... because it is "ok" ;)

Here is a picture of Sven-Erik, Marie, and Joel. Marie has MS (i think) and she lives life to the fullest. Last summer my friends Alyssa and Kelsey stayed at her daughters house for the summer while we were all in Sweden. I met her a few times last summer and was impressed by her optimism. While I was in a painting class last fall (of 2011, right after Sweden) we were instructed to paint someone/thing that has inspired us. So, I chose to paint her. For about 50-60 hours I thought all about her optimism, charm, and lovely attitude. And this is what I ended up painting:

Unfortunately this is the unfinished picture, I have added more since. She now has her painting up in Stockholm, Sweden! I gave it to her an hour before I got married in the Denmark temple. Kind of an interesting place to give it to her ;) I figured that since she was coming to the temple sealing, I could give it to her then :) Lets just say I was quite surprised by her reaction. Little did I know... the picture I ended up painting had a story behind it. And since then, Heavenly Father has touched my heart in ways I didn't know painting could do. I believe Marie and I were meant to meet, and somehow become friends for a reason. Whether it was to help each other through this life.. I will never know :)

Prayer

If you have spare time and would like to read something uplifting, PLEASE read this. :) I can't take any credit for it (unfortunately, she has such a great way with words!) for I wanted to repost this from my friend Mindy's blog (which you can find http://www.nikerunner.blogspot.se) because it is just great, and really hits it home!!! I almost cried I loved it so much.

I have considered writing this more times than I care to count.

It has received about the same number of edits.

That is because it is a delicate subject, meaning it can come across the wrong way more easily than it can come off the right way. I am hoping for the latter, but I 'spose that we will just to see what happens. :)

I am a woman of faith.

I believe in God and His Son, Jesus Christ.

I believe that God is not silent and that He still speaks to us today through our thoughts and feelings {as well as through prophets, seers and revelators}.

I believe God was a God of miracles in ancient times as found in the Old and New Testament and I believe He still is a God of miracles today.

I believe in prayer, that when I pray I am actually speaking to God, the Father of my soul. And that when I pray, He listens. He answers. He grants.

I know I am not alone in my beliefs. I have read countless experiences where you have prayed and that prayer was answered. I would like to just share a few of those experiences I have read. While I could share many, many more, these are just a handful.

A friend had the session for her wedding engagement photos scheduled. She woke up that morning to find that it was pouring rain and the forecast for it to cease was not good. She was so disheartened at the thought of having to reschedule. She prayed for the rain to cease. And it did. She knew her prayers had been heard and had been answered. 

Another friend and her husband wanted nothing more than to have a child. They tried just about everything under the sun, coupled with prayer. Months and months later, she and her husband knew their prayers had been answered when they found out they were expecting.

Similarly, a friend and her husband knew their prayers had been answered, not when they found out they were expecting, but when a selfless birth mother chose them to raise her infant son, where they could provide him with a life she never could. 

Another friend had searched high and low for an apartment that not only could she afford, but would suit her family and their needs. Everything fell into place and she expressed her gratitude for her prayers being heard and being answered. 

Do I believe that their prayers were heard?

Yes!

Do I believe their prayers were answered?

Yes!

I believe KNOW this because I know all prayers are heard. I know all prayers are answered.

I am grateful that people share their experiences like these. They give us reminders that God is there. God does listen. God does answer. God does grant. And by doing so, it gives us more hope and more courage to pray and to expect that our prayers will be answered similarly. 

However, every time I read something like this I am left with a little nagging thought {not a bad thought, just a repetitive thought}. A thought which is what leads me to write today. A thought which makes me feel like I can be a voice for those who aren't heard very often. I don't want to, per se. :) But I feel like since I can, maybe I should.

I am going to feebly attempt to be the voice for the faithful person who prays, pleads and promises ... yet their prayers aren't answered in any timely fashion. And, if they are, the fruition of the desired outcome does not manifest itself. 

I feel like I can be that voice because with the matters that have mattered most in my life, I haven't gotten timely answers {many I am still waiting on} and I haven't received the outcomes I have pleaded for {<------- dangled a participle, oops}.

Probably because those have been my experiences, when I read "I prayed for _____ and I received ______ , therefore my prayers were answered" it comes across as a math equation of A + B = C. And if I know math, with the that same equation, "I prayed for _______ and I did NOT receive ________, therefore my prayers were not answered" seems like the logical truth. 

But I am here to say it is not. 

I know that if that unhappy thought has crossed my mind, that it also must cross the minds of others who are pleading and praying, yet not receiving. So, I am going to be the voice that disputes that equation. I will dispute for myself and for anyone else whose experiences reflect mine. 

The real equation is this: Person + Prayer = God hears + God listens + God answers {in His timing - doh, I dislike that one sometimes}

One of the most difficult times in my life is when I was living in Provo, Utah {obviously, because I am not sure little Aggies were meant to live there}. ;) I had left everything and everyone I had know and was living in the most un-preferred location I could think of outside of most third- world countries {yes, you read that right, there might be some third-world countries I would prefer living in over Provo}. ;) 

I had had some personal disappointments in my life. And that is to put it lightly. My heart was broken and it felt like my spirit was too. 

One evening I remember driving to the Provo Temple. While sitting in the car, I looked at its majesty and poured my heart and sorrows out to the Lord. I cried as I sought for ... something - anything!

Answers to my questions did not come. Direction to my confused spirit did not come. Peace to my heart and mind even evaded me at that time. Yet, I did receive a thought and feeling of, "The Lord will not intervene at this time."

I have reflected on that many, many times since it occurred years ago.

There were times that I was bothered by it. I wasn't seeking something big like for my husband to be walking on temple grounds that night, where we would meet, fall in love and live happily ever after. ;) I just wanted peace. I wanted the storm to be stilled.

In my less bothered attitude, I began to reflect on a block of scriptures that have always stood out to me, which are found in Mark, chapter six. In verse 45, after feeding the 5,000, Christ directs His apostles to get into a ship and go to the opposite side of Bethsaida. They obeyed and as they did, Christ went up into a mountain to pray.

As the apostles were in the ship a large storm rolled in that sent the ship tossing to and fro from the large waves. The apostles struggled in fear as they were at the mercy of the storm. 

In verse 48 we learn that Christ "saw them toiling". Yet, something interesting happens. While the Lord of the earth watches on, with power to still the storm instantly, He does not. At least not immediately. He waited until the fourth watch. 

Understanding the fourth watch in sailing terminology is crucial in understanding our Savior. In ship talk, there are four "watches" to distinguish shifts, if you will. The first watch is 6 PM to 9 PM. The second watch is 9 PM to midnight. The third watch is midnight to 3 AM. And the fourth watch is 3 AM to 6 AM.

The fourth watch of the night is when the Lord chose to come still the storm. And still it He did. But why did He wait until the fourth watch? Why wouldn't He, who even the grains of sand obey Him, bring instant relief? 

I learned from my experience in Provo on that cold night, that the Lord works with us similarly. When our prayers are not answered in a timely fashion, when our prayers are not granted it isn't because God isn't hearing our prayers or answering our prayers. And it definitely isn't because He doesn't care.

He just sometimes doesn't race to our rescue - He sometimes doesn't immediately intervene. It has been one of the most difficult lessons I have ever had to learn as I have sojourned in this life. And I continue to learn more about it everyday. But the most crucial part to remember is while He may not intervene, He does not leave us. Just as He watched over His apostles, He too is watching over us. We are never left alone. We are never forgotten. 

If I am to be completely honest, it sometimes feels like I have surpassed the fourth watch ... that perhaps now I am in the 47th watch {and no, there is no such thing}. ;) But I do know this: the Lord is ever present, keeping a watchful eye over me. AND YOU. And if He hasn't intervened, it is because YOU have been prepared to face the fourth watch, otherwise He would have intervened in the third. 

So to those of you whose prayers seem unanswered, unheard or forgotten, remember the He is a fourth watch God. 

He is listening. 

He does hear. 

He does care.

He does remember you and the pleas of your heart. 

And He does grant. 

Even though we may wait on God for many years, there is a day coming when God will change everything in a moment of time ... just as He stilled those waters on that day for His apostles. 

You just keep praying. You just keep believing. And I will too.

PS- I really love this song today :)

Workin Out

Yes. I decided to blog two days riiight in a row. Kind of amazing if I do say so myself.

I have been going to Joel's old Fighter Center twice a week to do a kettlebell workout! Something I would normally not do on my own if Joel hadn't have talked me into it. ( he seems to be doing that a lot lately... pusing me out of my comfort zone. he knows me too well ;) )

First day I show up, and I am SUPER nervous. I didn't want to die. Thankfully Joel was with me to somewhat calm my nerves! The last time Joel talked me into going to a workout session was crossfit. Lets just say the high intensity and constant competition wasn't really my thing, and I pretty much died at the workout. That stuff is more Joel like. He is a LOOOT more competative than me, and can handle that stress. I can't play Mario Racecarts or something on the Wii because it is too much for me to handle. The only game I have found I can play is Indiana Jones Lego on the xbox. Yep.

Anyways, back to kettlebells. I show up on the first day, nervous. I was expecting something similar to crossfit for some reason. Boy was I surprised, and I love it. It wasn't nearly as intense, and I have been learning all the techniques slowly every time I go! 

They really focus on technique, and are very strict about posture, form, and all that lovely stuff. If I get tired I settle down for a few min, and continue to work on my workout again.

I now know how to do deadlifts, swings, goblet squat, and the Turkish get-up with 8 kilos-24 kilos (18lbs-53lbs), depending on what exercise I am doing. I feel pretty cool knowing all this :)

I have only been 6 times, and I notice a HUGE difference. Kettlebells help with strength, and after only 6 times I can feel myself getting stronger. 

Kinda awesome :)

I am a lazzzy bum.

I had the goal to post every day in October. Oops. Little late now I suppose! Lately I feel so disconnected from the world. Living in Sweden I feel like all my friends and family have no idea what I do on a daily basis!! I would LOVE to start blogging more about my life, and my adjustment to living in Europe. So if it looks like I am living on FB, try not to blame me ;)

Joel makes life so much fun, and I love living with him and sharing my life with him. He has made the experience of moving to Sweden and leaving my family a bit easier, and simply wonderful.

Lets seeee. I have been going to Swedish For Immigrants now for 3 weeks! There are super good days, and very hard and frustrating days. I have been making a lot of friends thankfully! That helps the whole going to school part easier. Going somewhere and I know at least one person? So nice. I miss that about Utah State... Everywhere i went I knew someone! Of course I was there for a few years, but still.
In my Swedish classes we have been focusing on grammar and talking to each other.
My teacher said to give it 3 months until I don't feel as overwhelmed, and 5 years until I am basically fluent. of course not as fluent as a native speaker, but as close as I can get. Great. Lets just say I have caught a slight glimpse of what missionaires have to go through.
It is super hard to get a job. I went to a job fair type thing and I was suuuuper depressed after. If we want to visit Utah next summer, I pretty much need a job. Prayers would be appreciated :)

We are also moving on December 1st!! We found an apartment, which is almost impossible. Last month we got tricked into putting down a deposit on an apartment and when we didn't hear back... we felt pretty dumb. She made it seem so SAFE, which was the tricky part.
But our faith in humanity was restored!!!!!! I am going to just copy and paste Joel's blog here, because he is much better with words and such:

Just over a month ago Mollie and I were at this one mall close to where we live. It's a really nice mall but the neighborhood it's in and the people who live there and who are in the mall are quite... well, lets just say you gotta watch your back an extra time, right? So we were there to spend up many of the wonderful gift cards we had received as gifts at our wedding. I had placed them all in a nice white envelope and written all the different stores we now had gift cards to and also how much money we had at each place, just so it would be easier to keep track of everything! Smart right? Well anyways, after walking around an hour or so we came to this one store where we happened to have extra many gift cards to. It took us a long time to find things we really liked and for both of us to agree on certain things. I reach for the gift card-envelope in Mollies bag. Empty. It was gone! We were in total shock for the longest time and it really emotionally struck us later that evening - we must have been pick-pocketed! :(

We filed a police report but had no idea who, where and when it was taken, the insurance company couldn't cover anything and so everything was just a lost cause.

Until today! Right as I walked into the office, after a heavy workout session at the gym and came to my desk, the phone rang and I just made it in time to answer it. It was a lady who said she called from a sports affiliation/store. I wondered why in the world they would call me, and also how they got my number! Its not like I ever go there to shop nor have I a membership card. I was quite confused. She asked if my name was Joel Herrey. Sure enough. She then asked me if I was married to a Mollie. Now I got even more confused! "What in the world-...?" Then she said that a month ago she found an envelope on the top floor of their store and since they say that there was quite a lot of money/gift cards she tried to find the owner. So for the past month she has been looking around all over the web to try and find a Joel and Mollie. She finally found me! She was really excited! I was completely taken aback; over her kindness to try to find us, her persuasion of not giving up. I didn't know what to say! Except one question still remained - How did she know who they belonged to? I knew very well that I didn't put my name on the envelope. She said that all the gift cards were empty with just the amount of money on them and an occasional greeting from the guests to "The Couple", exept one single card where it actually said "To Joel and Mollie". No sirname. Nothing else.  But by this she still persuaded enough in her search to find the owner.

Simply amazing, right??? There are still good people out there in the world today!! What amazes me is she searched for over a MONTH trying to find us. 
After we got robbed with the whoe apartment mess and the gift cards on top of that, we were so depressed and sad that this would happen in the 'safest European country'. Everyone we talked to has never been robbed here, except for one or two people. And then us newlyweds in under a month??! Ridiculous. But that is ok now, we grew from it and who knows? Perhaps Heavenly Father was saving that money for a reason :)